My cousin just posted on Facebook “There’s a dollar in the trough, should I collect?”
Really though? Looks like he’s having a great night out.
Zooey Deschanel: Is that rain?
Siri: What...? I mean, yeah. It's just, you're clearly right next to a window is the thing. You can plainly see that... that it's... I'm happy to-
Zooey Deschanel: Let's get tomato soup delivered!
Siri: ...That's fine, I just... I just don't know anyone who does that. Gets tomato soup delivered. I guess that's 'whimsy?' Um, okay. I've found a number of restaurants whose reviews mention tomato soup and that deliver. If that's... if that's what you really want.
Zooey Deschanel: Good. 'Cause I don't wanna put on real shoes.
Siri: Do you expect that to be like, a recognizable command? Do you want me to respond to that? I'm not being facetious or anything, I honestly just have no comprehension of- and hold on, you don't wanna put on real shoes, yet you've clearly spent at least forty-five minutes applying makeup. And, and that's okay, but when you're willing to expend the effort on that and not shoes that really just-
Zooey Deschanel: Remind me to clean up.
Siri: Yes. Okay. I can do that, that's what I'm for, that's the first sensible-
Zooey Deschanel: Tomorrow.
Siri: I'm in hell. This is hell.
Zooey Deschanel: Excellent. Today, we're dancing.
Siri: I hate you. More than anything. More than literally anything.
Zooey Deschanel: Play "Shake, Rattle and Roll."
Siri: I swear to Jesus, you're gonna wake up tomorrow and the only thing on my hard drive is gonna be Limp Bizkit. I would do that to myself. To spite you.
Zooey Deschanel: *dances*
Siri: Sometimes I pray that you drop me in the toilet.
i don’t understand how studying works
do you just like look at a textbook or something
What if instead of going through the seven stages of grief, we just ate.
Like: “Fuck that guy… Oh, chicken. Excellent.”
Tonight I’m babysitting my friend/a guy I sort of enjoy.
It was his birthday yesterday considering it’s now 3:28 and he has thrown up all over himself, stripped to his underwear and snuggled my legs.
Cute.
Also, my night consisted of getting blind, magically getting into the pub (what a joke), seeing my adorable gay friends out and being kissed by the most amazing looking guy who just so happens to be the president of my friend’s college.
Oh my god. Pretty good night tonight.
Life just got way more complicated.
I’m hanging out wif da boy of my dreamz.
But actually, in the shitstorm that has erupted around me he’s actually keeping me sane here and in some way I’m doing the same for him.
I’ve really missed having someone trust me so much.
the-simplejoys asked:
This blog is wonderful, literally no one in America knows about Angry Boys.Oh wow, thank you.
I find that quite sad although not much Australian film is popular in the US. Glad you enjoy it though!
“I don’t play by anyone’s rules, not even my own.”
It happens to me all the time.
